GRUMFOVA RETORIKA - WIENER SCHULE NA OGULINSKI NAČIN
MOJA ISKRENA ISPRIKA ŠTO SAM SE U OVOM POSTU SPUSTIO NA NIVO, "TAKOZVANOG" GRADONAČELNIKA OGULINA. MOLIM DA MI SE OPROSTI.
Moj omiljeni političar, od milja zvan Grunfek, još jednom je, ovaj puta na sjednici Gradskog vijeća, dokazao visoku razinu svog ega i prostakluka. Naime, konačno je odgovorio na moj post o putu u Kinu, koji su onda, k'o meksičku sapunicu, prenesli po društveni mrežama i cekerima, mnogi dokoni fejsbukovci. I to je našeg dragoga Grumfeka, povrijedilo do boli. A put u Kinu, tri – četiri tjedna, bio je obavijem velom tajni. Svi kao nešto znaju, a nitko ne zna ništa. Sve tajnovito. K'o Slučaj Roswell, k'o tajnoviti nestanak broda Berga Istra, k'o Bermudski trokut, k'o tajanstveni CIA projekt Kryptos. Sve tajna, sve misterija. Tema za kafiće i birtije. Službeno čisti muk. Ni riječi o ruti Ogulin – Kina. Na blogu Ogulin u srcu, jedan je komentator napisao:
„A inace se svaki korak crvenog gradonacelnika prati ne iz dana u dan vec iz minute u minutu. Samo je oko ovog putovanja nesto malo zastekalo. Mutni partijski poslovi“.
To je zanimalo i gradsku vijećnicu i predsjednicu lokalnog HDZ-a, Anđelku Sapolek, pa je na Gradskom vijeću o tome uputila pitanje - što je razlog tog tajanstvenog putovanja. Gradonačelnik joj je odgovorio a prenosi Ogportal:
“Drago mi je da je moj odlazak izazvao buru, jer mi radimo “tihu diplomaciju” i ugošćavamo veleposlanike, što prije nikad nije bio slučaj. Bio sam u delegaciji od 14 članova iz svih političkih opcija i iz svih krajeva Hrvatske, a financiranje je išlo sto posto preko kineskog ministarstva gospodarstva, tako da nisam oštetio ničiji proračun”- rekao je Grumfek.
I grad je odmah odahnuo. Svi živnuli. Sunce granulo. Svi zadovoljni, svi sretni. Pri tome je Grumfek gradske vijećnike i svekoliko pučanstvo, te nas ostale neupućene tutleke, malo poučio o „tihoj dipolmaciji“, koja je valjda njihov modus operandi. Kao da je u najmanju ruku potomak čuvenih dubrovačkih dipolmat-gospara, ili naš ogulinski, Henry Kissinger. O kako smo sretni, što ga imamo. Uglavnom, saznali smo puni oduševljenja, da ćemo rezultate njegove „tihe diplomacije“ vidjeti možda već sutra, a možda, tko zna kada. Samo strpljenja molim. Da dodam. Ako ćemo pošteno, mnogo je Grumfek govorio, a zapravo rekao, nije ništa.
I što se onda, pitate vi, bavim tim egoistom, besprizornim i lažljivim likom. Iz samo jednoga razloga, što se on uporno bavi mnome. I to na svoj arogantan, prostački način, što mu je zaštitni znak. Tako je učinio i sada. Već prije, nezadovoljan mojim pisanjem, odnosno ukazivanjem na njegove merifetluke, sramotna zapošljavanja po rodbinskoj i partijskoj liniji, na radiju me nazvao „olinjalim spin majstorom“. Svaka čast majstore. A ovaj puta, išao je još dalje. Valjda po uzoru na svog predsjednika, meni inače simpatičnog i otkačenog Zokija. Sada više nisam samo „olinjali spin majstor“ nego sam promoviran u kradljivca, ni manje ni više, nego paradajza. Daj Grumfek, možeš ti i bolje. I tvoji sufleri. Pa niste valjda na paradajze spali.
Za one koji bi eventualno nasjeli na Grumfove izmišljotine, da pojasnim pričicu.
Idem sa Skorašnika i na njivi moj „mejaš“ Nina Frković, uređuje vrt. Ja mu velim: „Nina, dok je tvoga vrta, ja ne idem ni va Konzum, ni va Plodine“. Nina se smije a ja se uslikam kako mu „kradem“ paradajze. I to objavim.
Onda, za Advent se ukrašava gradski park. Uslikam se kako „kradem“ lampice. I to objavim.
Onda zamolim Marijan Salopeka, da me uslika kako na skijalištu Kuti, „kradem“ kutiju, u koju skijaši ostavljaju dobrovoljne priloge. I to objavim.
Onda na Festivalu zelja, opet glumatam, i insceniram performans kako „kradem“ lončić sarme. I to objavim.
I onda, a to mi je baš najbolje, složim scenarij, kako prilikom prezentacije oružja PGB Tigrovi, kradem sa štanda pištolj, ali me mladi Tigar uhvati na djelu. To smo ponovili 3-4 puta, dok sam mladog Tigra uvjerio da mora složiti ozbiljnu i prijeteću facu. I to naravno objavim.
I tako to. Eto, volim delat sprdačinu i malo se zajebavat na svoj račun. Pa nek se narod veseli i govori: „Vidi bene, kamo je taj godine zatukal“.
Naravno da nisam maznuo paradajze, ni adventske lampice, ni kutiju s novčanim prilozima Ski kluba, ni pištolj mladome Tigru, ni sarmu, ali u nedostatku bilo kakvih argumenta protiv moje beznačajnosti, Grumfek eto, i take marginalije koristi. Tako da mu ja mogu samo tepati:
„Moj Grumfek, ne ja, nego ti si, pokvareni spin majstor“.
A jedan mi prijatelj kaže: “Jebo te, ja bi ga za te paradajze tužil“.
A ja mu odgovoran onom narodnom:
„Ne diraj govno da jače ne smrdi“.
REZIME
Da netko značajan mene napada, bio bih ponosan. Dakle, nešto vrijedim. Ali kada to čini beznačajni, besprizorni egoista, ali nažalost vrlo moćan i vrlo zao tip, onda bez obzira hoće li mi on nešto smjestiti, ja se samo nasmijem i ……. natočim pivčugu. Pa živjeli.
P.S.
Ova jedna sličica prokazuje moju desnu ruku, kojom sam na zadnjim izborima, ničim izazvan, zaokružio ime Dalibora Domitrovića. Izubijana je i zamotana. Svako jutro kad se dignem, prekrižim se, jer su me tako naučili još dok sam bil mać, i počnem se tuči po desnoj ruki. Za kaznu kaj je glupača napravila. I kaj je na izbori Grumfa zaokružila. I da se to nikad više ne usudi ponovit.
Vidi Grumfek. Evo ti materijala za narednu sjednicu Gradskog vijeća. Dok ne poraste paradajz kod mog susjeda Nine, ja kradem po placu. Bog i fala i emoj kaj zamerit. 
7. 6. 2023.
Nebojša Magdić
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